Limits and the pushing of boundaries

I previously explored the notion of “No Limits” and agreed with a perspective of another blogger. – No Limits In the discussion, there is a mention on No Limits and its meanings, clearly if you are playing with someone you would expect it to be Safe, Sane & Consensual (SSC). So having limbs removed is not something that would be placed onto a hard limit as it would be implied.

Firstly to understand limits, I guess we need to have a basic illustration of the various activities that we may explore and indulge. Keeping in mind that the illustration below does not include everything, and you may or may not agree with it in it entirely.

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As you can see there is a wide range of activities, and other aspects that may change the dynamic of the activity. It would be extremely rare that nay individual would have no limits, and to get to a point of minimal limits there certainly would be many boundaries that would both need to be explored and pushed.

Keeping in mind that I have not participated in every activity, dose not mean I am going to list every activity that I would consider as a hard limit, for example I would not be happy to explore kitten play, in fact I would generally refuse to, is that a hard limit? For some people yes they would consider that a hard limit, whilst I would not par take, it certainly is not a hard limit, and just like all BDSM activities and play negotiation is the key to success.

So I came up with a basic idea for Limits and exploration of boundaries, keeping in mind we will accept the premises that the person or people, that I am going to explore my limits and / or boundaries understand and practice SSC.

Exploration of Limits:

 

HARD LIMITS Medium Pushing Boundaries Soft Limits Exploration No Limits – Safety Only
Scat Needles Caning Deep Anal Play Threesomes
Vomit Cum Play CBT Fire Play Group Action
Diapers Water Sports TT Knife Play Fisting
Woman’s Clothing Heavy BDSM Cigar Play DP Flogging
Animals Suspension Restraints Impact Play Vanilla Stuff
Children Spiting Breath Play Corporal Punishment Rope Play
Scarification Food Play Chocking Chastity Pup Play
Hooks Sploshing    Rimming Spanking
  Exchange of Bodily Fluids     Outdoor Play
  Cutting (Boarder on Hard Limit)     Military Role Play
  Heavy CBT      Anal Play & Toys
   BB      Electrodes

 

NO GO

 

Wiling to Explore, negotiation required. Boundaries will be explored and pushed
 
Some negotiation required, Happy to explore, some boundaries will be explored and pushed
 
Open for exploration
 Consideration of Safety

There are so many activities out there I have not listed as the list would just be enormous. Keep in mind that; other then the hard limits, the activities listed are not set in stone and may change over time, as my views or desires change or are explored. However negotiation is always key.

BDSM for me is about a journey of exploration of your sexuality and this goes without saying;

“your kink may not be my kink, but that is ok!”

An example of this is pups that are into diaper play, to me this is confronting and I have listed it as a hard limit as I have no desire or wiliness to consider such kink, yet if this sort of activity is your kink, then by all mean do it, explore it and have fun.

This I guess is the take home message, it is ok not to wish to explore an aspect of a kink, but it is not OK to prevent another person from exploring their kink, providing it is not hurting anyone, and their is active consent involved.

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What has this to do with pup play?

Simply pup play has many cross overs with many other kinks and BDSM activities, for example leather and or rubber, and restraints and D/s, just to name a few. So it is important for pups and Handlers (Anyone really that has a Kinky lifestyle and practices BDSM activities) to be aware of their limits, boundaries and what they are willing to explore and what boundaries they are willing to push… But most importantly what is off limits (your hard limits) and this goes for all parties involved in the transaction of the desired activity.

I have also noticed that pup play whilst a lifestyle and a kink on it own right, is starting to delve into many areas of BDSM, whist generally many would argue that you should not flog a pup, or zap a pup with electrodes, and on some levels I agree. The dilemma is that if the community saids you can’t do something then a pup who likes to be flogged or a handler that likes to flog a pup, may feel ostracised and not interact with the community. So my advice is that if it is not harming anyone, and they are consenting adults then let them have their fun.

Keeping in mind some pups headspace is that the pup mindset, whilst other incorporate sex into their pup headspace. Hence why we are all individuals, and why when entering into play or headspace it is essential to communicate and be honest with your intentions or what you are willing to explore.

D/s or M/s BDSM Limits and Boundaries  

If you are entering into a D/s or M/s relationship and/or dynamic the above table could be a starting point on communicating to your perspective play mate(s) your needs and desires and what is a no go zone for you. However for the inexperienced the above table allows the individual to have a greater understanding and a method of communicating what they will do, will explore and what they will not do.

Remember this is based on my experiences and everyones Limits and boundaries are different and will be communicated and is as individual and unique as the person.

Creating your own table, allows you to add this to your own learning and can be be used as a reference of learning on what activities are there and enable you to research them and communicate your needs. As you hear of new activities or terms within the BDSM sphere, I encourage you to get a better understanding of them and what they potentially could mean for you.

In a D/s or M/s that is established there has been trust built and many discussions on such topic so I would argue the table would look more like this for the more established or experienced BDSM player who is in a D/s or M/s.

HARD LIMITS Exploration
Scat All BDSM Activities except those mentioned on my hard limits. This inculdes activities that I am not aware of or new activities that you desire. Negotiation and communication necessary as we explore. Trust is of essence.

Statement of Fact: I identify as gay, therefore I wish to keep my identity in tact whist participating and consenting to agreed and negotiated BDSM Activities.

Vomit
Diapers
Woman’s Clothing
Animals
Children
Scarification
Hooks

It is always encouraged for you to explore; experience and create your own unique identity within your BDSM, kink or pup community.

 

Disclaimer: Please note that the information and tables in this blog post are that of my own experience and from my own perspective, no way I am telling the reader how they should approach BDSM or their limits and boundaries. I hope that this post has been informative.

 

Pup Spanky

 

 

 

Puppy Rules of Property:

1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If I’m chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours in anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, it’s mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, it’s yours
11. if i pee’d on it, it’s mine.
12. if i stare at it long enough, it becomes mine
13. If I don’t like it, I will pee on it and it will still be mine
14. if i hump it, its mine

 

So I got this from a Tumblr Blog – Pup Chaos from Chicago, whom is also a Boot Black…

I have no comment really to make about this, only that it amused me.

Also my experiences would argue that when it comes to human pups , there is certainly an element of truth in the puppy rules of property.

Happy Paws to you all…

 

Pup Spanky

If its shinny, its mine.

Jock Straps

It is no secret that I love Jock Straps, in fact in could be argued in many cases it the minimal clothing attire of many pups.

Why are Jock-straps so popular amongst pups?

Disclaimer: It is well known that many pups are submissive and many are bottoms, however there are many more that are Dominant and/or are Tops. So no way am I saying that all pups are bottoms or are submissive’s. And this post is for the boy pups as I am expressing from my opinions and experiences.

  • Insertable tails – A Jockstrap allows for you to have an insertable tail and still have all your bits not hanging – So idea for those environments that allow for partial nudity and not full nudity

 

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  • It allows access for you Handler or Master to have access to your butt, wether you have pants over the top or not, this can initiate some intimate play whilst in a public space, like a gay bar, etc. or wear appropriate. Once again this is deemed by how your D/s is negotiated. 

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  • Many Jockstraps that I wear I find them really comfortable… And my Butt is accessible…

 

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  • When In pup play or headspace, and you may not be in full gear, your bits may get a little cold, I find having a Jock strap on helps keep them warmer and in place

 

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  • A form of chastity, Once again keeping your dangly bits covered, removed them from sexualised play, so it can act as a form of chastity or allow control for the Dom if there is not a chastity device in place. 

 

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  • If anyone has another reason would love get your feedback, try to keep it to pup play related.

Here are some more Jockstrap pixs:

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I know this is unusual for me to do such a post but sometimes pixs say 1000 words:

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Fuck me jock

BUSY

Hey all,

I have been extremely busy in the last few Months, however I will be updating the site, including adding a Q-PAH Tab, updating the galleries, and intruding LPA, My gaol is to have this updated by 1st December 2015, with a soft Launch of LPA.

I have also added a Twitter account, and I will be doing regular updates on Tumblr.

I thank all my supports and followers, but as our lives change and we follow our paths and journeys,  sometimes we must make sure we have time for ourselves.

I will also be creating mini workshops to be launched in February 2016. Stay tuned and watch this space for many updates.

 

Nothing is set in stone everything evolves…

 

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