Limits and the pushing of boundaries

I previously explored the notion of “No Limits” and agreed with a perspective of another blogger. – No Limits In the discussion, there is a mention on No Limits and its meanings, clearly if you are playing with someone you would expect it to be Safe, Sane & Consensual (SSC). So having limbs removed is not something that would be placed onto a hard limit as it would be implied.

Firstly to understand limits, I guess we need to have a basic illustration of the various activities that we may explore and indulge. Keeping in mind that the illustration below does not include everything, and you may or may not agree with it in it entirely.

tumblr_neuvy74u6T1u0u3pzo1_1280

As you can see there is a wide range of activities, and other aspects that may change the dynamic of the activity. It would be extremely rare that nay individual would have no limits, and to get to a point of minimal limits there certainly would be many boundaries that would both need to be explored and pushed.

Keeping in mind that I have not participated in every activity, dose not mean I am going to list every activity that I would consider as a hard limit, for example I would not be happy to explore kitten play, in fact I would generally refuse to, is that a hard limit? For some people yes they would consider that a hard limit, whilst I would not par take, it certainly is not a hard limit, and just like all BDSM activities and play negotiation is the key to success.

So I came up with a basic idea for Limits and exploration of boundaries, keeping in mind we will accept the premises that the person or people, that I am going to explore my limits and / or boundaries understand and practice SSC.

Exploration of Limits:

 

HARD LIMITS Medium Pushing Boundaries Soft Limits Exploration No Limits – Safety Only
Scat Needles Caning Deep Anal Play Threesomes
Vomit Cum Play CBT Fire Play Group Action
Diapers Water Sports TT Knife Play Fisting
Woman’s Clothing Heavy BDSM Cigar Play DP Flogging
Animals Suspension Restraints Impact Play Vanilla Stuff
Children Spiting Breath Play Corporal Punishment Rope Play
Scarification Food Play Chocking Chastity Pup Play
Hooks Sploshing    Rimming Spanking
  Exchange of Bodily Fluids     Outdoor Play
  Cutting (Boarder on Hard Limit)     Military Role Play
  Heavy CBT      Anal Play & Toys
   BB      Electrodes

 

NO GO

 

Wiling to Explore, negotiation required. Boundaries will be explored and pushed
 
Some negotiation required, Happy to explore, some boundaries will be explored and pushed
 
Open for exploration
 Consideration of Safety

There are so many activities out there I have not listed as the list would just be enormous. Keep in mind that; other then the hard limits, the activities listed are not set in stone and may change over time, as my views or desires change or are explored. However negotiation is always key.

BDSM for me is about a journey of exploration of your sexuality and this goes without saying;

“your kink may not be my kink, but that is ok!”

An example of this is pups that are into diaper play, to me this is confronting and I have listed it as a hard limit as I have no desire or wiliness to consider such kink, yet if this sort of activity is your kink, then by all mean do it, explore it and have fun.

This I guess is the take home message, it is ok not to wish to explore an aspect of a kink, but it is not OK to prevent another person from exploring their kink, providing it is not hurting anyone, and their is active consent involved.

11031953_742388352554610_8597668477349115653_o

What has this to do with pup play?

Simply pup play has many cross overs with many other kinks and BDSM activities, for example leather and or rubber, and restraints and D/s, just to name a few. So it is important for pups and Handlers (Anyone really that has a Kinky lifestyle and practices BDSM activities) to be aware of their limits, boundaries and what they are willing to explore and what boundaries they are willing to push… But most importantly what is off limits (your hard limits) and this goes for all parties involved in the transaction of the desired activity.

I have also noticed that pup play whilst a lifestyle and a kink on it own right, is starting to delve into many areas of BDSM, whist generally many would argue that you should not flog a pup, or zap a pup with electrodes, and on some levels I agree. The dilemma is that if the community saids you can’t do something then a pup who likes to be flogged or a handler that likes to flog a pup, may feel ostracised and not interact with the community. So my advice is that if it is not harming anyone, and they are consenting adults then let them have their fun.

Keeping in mind some pups headspace is that the pup mindset, whilst other incorporate sex into their pup headspace. Hence why we are all individuals, and why when entering into play or headspace it is essential to communicate and be honest with your intentions or what you are willing to explore.

D/s or M/s BDSM Limits and Boundaries  

If you are entering into a D/s or M/s relationship and/or dynamic the above table could be a starting point on communicating to your perspective play mate(s) your needs and desires and what is a no go zone for you. However for the inexperienced the above table allows the individual to have a greater understanding and a method of communicating what they will do, will explore and what they will not do.

Remember this is based on my experiences and everyones Limits and boundaries are different and will be communicated and is as individual and unique as the person.

Creating your own table, allows you to add this to your own learning and can be be used as a reference of learning on what activities are there and enable you to research them and communicate your needs. As you hear of new activities or terms within the BDSM sphere, I encourage you to get a better understanding of them and what they potentially could mean for you.

In a D/s or M/s that is established there has been trust built and many discussions on such topic so I would argue the table would look more like this for the more established or experienced BDSM player who is in a D/s or M/s.

HARD LIMITS Exploration
Scat All BDSM Activities except those mentioned on my hard limits. This inculdes activities that I am not aware of or new activities that you desire. Negotiation and communication necessary as we explore. Trust is of essence.

Statement of Fact: I identify as gay, therefore I wish to keep my identity in tact whist participating and consenting to agreed and negotiated BDSM Activities.

Vomit
Diapers
Woman’s Clothing
Animals
Children
Scarification
Hooks

It is always encouraged for you to explore; experience and create your own unique identity within your BDSM, kink or pup community.

 

Disclaimer: Please note that the information and tables in this blog post are that of my own experience and from my own perspective, no way I am telling the reader how they should approach BDSM or their limits and boundaries. I hope that this post has been informative.

 

Pup Spanky

 

 

 

Puppy Rules of Property:

1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If I’m chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours in anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, it’s mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, it’s yours
11. if i pee’d on it, it’s mine.
12. if i stare at it long enough, it becomes mine
13. If I don’t like it, I will pee on it and it will still be mine
14. if i hump it, its mine

 

So I got this from a Tumblr Blog – Pup Chaos from Chicago, whom is also a Boot Black…

I have no comment really to make about this, only that it amused me.

Also my experiences would argue that when it comes to human pups , there is certainly an element of truth in the puppy rules of property.

Happy Paws to you all…

 

Pup Spanky

If its shinny, its mine.

The Difference Between BDSM & Abuse Part I

The difference Between BDSM & Abuse 1Difference between BDSM & Abuse 2 The difference between BDSM & Abuse 3 The difference between BDSM & Abuse 4 The difference between BDSM & Abuse 5

 

 

TheDifferenceBetweenBDSMAndAbuse

Information Source: The BDSM Training Academy

Part I – Has been taken directly from the BDSM Training Academy Blog post – no part of the above material is my own work, however I agree with the message conveyed and support the science behind the image above. Similar materials have been used world wide when looking at abuse victims and the cycle of domestic abuse. The BDSM Cycle is what BDSM partitioners preach, only better illustrated.  The comparison between the two demonstrate clearly the difference between BDSM and Abuse.

Having a comparative illustration demonstrated by the BDSM Training Academy, is a tool that allows for the reader to be informed, allowing a person not in BDSM or is new to BDSM to have an understanding of the difference between consensual and non consensual acts between adults.

Remember there is no need for abuse in an healthy BDSM relationship. In my opinion  – Trust, Communication, Respect and above all love is what constitutes a healthy D/s and/or BDSM dynamic that may or may not be a partnership. Reading many case studies where the case study illustrates that they are, would be described as a vanilla partnership, experiment with BDSM practices including changing their relationship type to either M/s or D/s  have reported a much stronger, healthier and trusting relationship prior to their exploration of BDSM.

Reference: Master Slave Handbook.

Q: Puppy 101

Hey all,

Whilst I was looking at one of my favourite FB groups – Puppy 101 I came across a post with several questions, which undoubtedly was asked by who I believe to be one of the many respected members of the international pup community – Papa Woof Roth.

The Questions are in blue and my responses below them:

 

How did you find puppy?

So I have touched on this in my blog previously, I was exploring BDSM and its kinda hard to explain, as I lived in a rural costal township at the time, I was looking for something that I could identify with, this was difficult as I had previously identified asa boy and still do. On an internet search I stubbled across pup play and it sparked interest and it was like a light bulb moment. I spoke to a couple of friends about this who gave me some advice.

I knew there was something different about pup play, by the end of 2012 I was certain that I wanted to explore my inner pup and find out more about my identity as a pup. My life long partner helped me find my paws and brought me my first leather hood for christmas. He also brought me my pup bed 2 years latter. Whist it was not always that easy for me to come out as a pup, I felt that I had to hide this and I did for a good 12 months, occasionally going to Brisbane’s Local Leather Club and getting my pup on.

I have to thank Pup Riot for all his support and help, and the many other friends and those who I now call family in Brisbane. It has been a big journey, but I feel I have found my true self in my inner pup. Whilst I still maintain a boy persona especially for those BDSM activities I enjoy.

What was your first experience in the puppy community?

My first experience in the pup community was attending a pup 101 workshop, and then attending a Boot Co. night named Howl, where I found what pup-space was all about thanks to the awesome support of the evenings organisers.

Who do you look up to as a mentor in the community?

WOW, this is a difficult one as so many different people have influenced me and my Journey, I would have to say in Brisbane Pup Riot, Master Brand, Brother Hazy and Alex (Black Rabbit)

Interstate: Pup Boss, Wolf Pup and G Pup Alpha

On the international side and online I am going to add Pup Tripp and Papa Woof Roth

And a good friend – Glenn

What would you like to see in the community?

This is difficult to answer as the community is made up of many different individuals. I would say the continued efforts to work together to create great resources and pup education and life long friends. I had to see I love many things with our community – brother and sister hood.

Do you go to any events?

Yes I help run and arrange the Q-PAH events, I love attending the VIC-PAH events and Howl. I have also attended a few workshops, and when I get the opportunity to travel overseas there are so many more I wish to experience including IPC.

In 2016 I am attending Pup Pride Down Under.

How has Puppy changed good OR bad since you have been part of it?

There are certainly more pups then before, and the gear is getting better and allowing for more versatility and individuality.

Another good point is pups are becoming a lot more accepted by the leather and kink communities

One of the negatives I have found some guys seam to blame their actions or avoid responsibility cause they were in pup headspace.

The puppy 101 group can be found at: Puppy 101

pupSpanky Logo Final V1.S

Cum Puppy

I am gonna make this a short post:

  1. You need to be of legal age of consent to view this post if you do not qualify then you should close your browser and when your 18 you can cum back.

I have had an online discussion over the 2015/16 new year, where the topic of discussion was human puppy cum and can it be used in pup training… Yes it was a another male topic.

Preamble: The discussion was surrounding a specific type of training for pups, at this stage I am reserving my views, thoughts and opinions on said topic, and would like to see a discussion on this. The type of training is used in the real world with Trainers and biological dogs that serve as working dogs, in police, military and on farms. The training involves where apparently the handler masturbates there dog, in order to have greater control. Now I have heard of this, and yet basic internet searches seam to indicate that it is a miss-truth, yet some have attempted to do such activity.

Anyway it was suggested that a Handler / Sir / Master should jerk of their pup to orgasm to show their dominance over them whilst in pup head-space. It was further suggested that the pup should then lick up the cum.

With in this discussion it was discussed and suggested that the pup is not to induce or interfere in the process by either being restrained or having their paws on. (This must be first consented too.)

In no way I am attempting to tell anyone how to be a pup or how to train their pup, I would encourage positive and open communication and negotiation is a must for a healthy D/s relationship.

I suggested that this may work in a Handler and pup dynamic where military or police training may be the  workings of that particular couple or group or pack. I know that there are some pups that like the conformity of a military aspect as part of their training, this may include but not limited to corporate punishment. The desire to have some military influence is something that may interest some Handlers or pups. Remember this is a very specific type of pup training that is not for everyone. I would also caution that if done incorrectly it may not be beneficial to the inner working of the pup head-space, with is generally on a more social nature.

Marking: (I added this to the discussion)

I added that there are some that are in the pup community that believe marking should also be used… (The act where the Dom urinates on the pup) This has be widely discussed before and there are two sides of this those who agree and those who do not, once again this is the dynamic of your pup and handler or pup and alpha & what may work for one set of individuals may not work for another.

Without discussing the out come of the discussion I would be interested in hearing the thoughts of others….

  1. What are your thoughts on having your dominant masturbate you as a form of dominance and part of your training?
  2. What are your thoughts of Marking?

Pup Spanky

 

tumblr_static_filename_640_v2

Shock Collar…. or not

There is much about shock collars on the web, and countless discussions about it use on humans, with the terms of use; being that of the BDSM realm. I am one of the first that will put my hand up for a good dose electrode play. As part of my toy box is a shock collar and have been zapped many times.

However in much of the discourse, surrounding the use of shock collars in pup play the answer to it’s usage with pups appear to be a No and generally frowned upon. With in the community many feel the use of electric shock collars on human pups is a big NO many feel that the pup headspace should not be tainted with unnecessary punishment.

The question is, should a human pup be shocked?  We allow this for the biological kind…

Firstly if you are going to use electric shock collars, under no circumstances do you use it like you would with a real dog, do not attach the collar around a humans neck.

And to be sure you understand: Do not use the collar on the neck of a human. Even though there are pictures on the internet….

Just to be sure, to be, to be sure;

Do NOT use electric shock collars on your human-pups neck, human physiology is different from a dogs and electricity applied to a human neck is not safe. If you want to use this form of training then you could try using the collar around their thigh. Shock collars are best placed around the pups thigh or, upper arm may work, and with boy pups around their ball shack. remember to test the levels as each pup is sensitive differently in the different areas.

In a previous post talking about electric shock collars, it was suggested:

Although, to be honest this kind of training is usually inconsistent depending on your pup’s personality and has to be administered just right to be effective. It is no substitute for getting to know your pup and training them verbally, hands on and with patience.

A question was posed to me the other day about human pup training and shock collars, of course we agreed that it should never be placed on the human’s neck. My initial response was ‘no’ shock collars should not be used as a form of correction for behaviour when training a human pup.

After some consideration and reviewing my reaction, I have rethought my answer, as a boy I love electrodes, and the idea of a shock collar is a turn on. As a pup (in headspace) I am doubtful that I would have electrodes or do half the BDSM activities as I partake in as a submissive. And this is purely because the pup headspace is very different form of submission, and in some cases dominance.

There are activities that I partake as a Dominant, this can be wether in and Alpha role or a Dominant personality / persona – In this, my pup headspace is certainly not at the forefront. Though I will point out that as part of my whole self, predominately my identity is a pup and it’s characteristics are always there.

Remaining on topic, Shock collars and pup training, as previously mentioned, my initial reaction was no.

However through other posts and writings and exchange of thoughts and opinions; I have always maintained that negotiation and communication is essential to any BDSM activity. For this blog I include pup play. Before entering the pup head space you and your handler need to have discussions on training, rewards and discipline. It should be acknowledged that throughout your journey as a pup or Handler;  that you will build levels of trust, and a bond that is unique. You will know your Handler or pup sometimes better then he or she knows themselves. And this is the beauty and magic of a safe and consensual BDSM or D/s relationship between either two consenting adults or a group.

I would suggest that the Shock collar be placed on the pup, whilst in headspace or shown to him so he is aware of it, not just have it there, and it being a shock. Make it part of the training experience, but prior to that allow the boy to experience it in the first instance. 

It is my view that if a shock collar is to be used for corrective behaviour modifications then it should not be the only tool. The shock collar could be a means of correcting severe undesirable behaviour. A pup (in deep headspace) may not understand the shock collar and its uses. This is why it is important to be discussed prior to headspace. How you place this on the pup, wether in full human mode or partial human/pup mode, or full pup mode is entirely up to the pup and handler.

As pups can be mischievous, if used correctly it could be introduced on low settings as part of play, especially those that emit a sound or a vibration, these can be used as warnings prior to the shock, and allow the pup to fully explore their pup self, whist enabling the Handler to emit warnings of behaviour traits that are undesirable.

With training emitting a sound or vibration would let a pup know if you continue – you will be shocked. If you do not want to be shocked then stop… Self correction followed by positive reinforcement is an excellent way in training your pup. Keep in mind it is not the only way.

Remember: Consistency is everything.

Shock collars should be used with caution and trialled whist in pup headspace. If the pup dose not like it or the shock collar training is not having the desired outcomes, do not use it. In the event the pup is showing signs of destress, rethink your strategy.

Sometimes it may be better used when your submissive is not in pup headspace, and part of BDSM activities. Remember communication is key for all parties concerned.

Pup training should always focus on positive reinforcement for good behaviour and behaviour modifications, smacking or shocking your pup should not be the go to place. Sometimes a raised voice or a look of disappointment is all that is required. But if your a mischievous pup like me, sometimes corrective actions such as a verbal direction or a firm hand on the shoulder and/or the odd smack on the butt may be warranted.

51Ajua-GEsLIn closing if it works for your D/s then try it, if it dose not then you have not lost anything. Remember before making purchases, discuss shock collars first, chooses one with multiple settings, and one with a vibration button; this is great fun. Communication is key, including watching the non verbal communications of your pup. And remember do not place them on the neck.

Positive reinforcement is always far better at correcting the behaviour of your pup then disciplinary… Unless of course that is what has been negotiated between the parties involved. An example of this could be a military pup/Handler role that involve corporate punishment as part of the workings of their relationship.

Each D/s is as individual and unique as each pup and Handler; therefore communicate, read each other. It is important that the Handler gets to know his pup.

To the Handler: One thing I encourage you to do, is get to know the inner workings of your pup, explore him and the way he interacts. The pup will look for you for guidance as he wants to please you and make you proud of him.

All those pups out there, if you are with a Handler who cares for you, not only will he know you he will know how to push your buttons. This will ensure you both have a fun and for-filling D/s journey. Have fun and play safe.

I have used shock collars, but I have never been in full pup headspace, when they have been used, I found them to be great fun! With the right handler I would seriously consider their use as part of my training.

Pup Spanky

 

BUSY

Hey all,

I have been extremely busy in the last few Months, however I will be updating the site, including adding a Q-PAH Tab, updating the galleries, and intruding LPA, My gaol is to have this updated by 1st December 2015, with a soft Launch of LPA.

I have also added a Twitter account, and I will be doing regular updates on Tumblr.

I thank all my supports and followers, but as our lives change and we follow our paths and journeys,  sometimes we must make sure we have time for ourselves.

I will also be creating mini workshops to be launched in February 2016. Stay tuned and watch this space for many updates.

 

Nothing is set in stone everything evolves…

 

pupSpanky Logo Final V1.S

What Is Puppy Play and Why Is It So Popular?

A Primer on the Kink That Involves Puppy Hoods, Wagging Tails, Fetching Bones, and Barking—But Not Necessarily Sex