Why you should not wake Sir without a coffee.
I have been given a task as to why a bratty boy should not wake his Sir without a morning coffee. Keeping in mind that not every Dominant drink’s coffee nor does every dominate expect their boys to have coffee by the ready, and the is the brilliance about the differences in dynamics of D/s relationships, not one is the same as another. Even if they are in a leather family situation each boy would have a different relationship structure and or guide lines then each other. From the outside looking in it may appear to be the same; however, the internal workings would be unique and different for each interaction / relationship structure with the Sir(s) and boy (s). This is just the defining factor – Humans are not robots, no one boy or Sir is the same, with various life experiences, tastes and inherent belief systems. The one variable that you really cannot train and that’s the animalistic aspect of every human, as we all carry our own unique finger prints and views on the world at large.
I am not like any other pup or boy, and just like any other pup or boy that is fortunate to be in a caring and loving D/s relationship, I too have structures, and these carry their own unique rituals which make the relationship grow and develop into its own dynamic. One of the rituals that I hold dear is ensuring when Sir wakes up he has coffee and that its made the way he likes it. Even when he may be up before me, I normally drag my ass out of bed to ensure a coffee is made and presented.
Why go to the trouble, in a traditional leather style D/s, it is not up for discussion, the boy does as required and told, no arguments, however in a more contemporary style of D/s relationships this has changed. The boy now has a say and choices. And the choices can be easily placed into two categories Reward or consequence. There certainly is much more discussion and a narrative is formed, that goes hand to hand with the trust, I would argue stronger connections are forged.
What’s this all about Coffee? Many of us associate coffee with mornings. It’s the thing that we need to kickstart the day. Sir is no different, and ensuring Sir has one, this in itself has become a ritual that has grown, I enjoy the service and the time with Sir. Both of us work late hours, we tend to be on similar sleeping patterns. The problem for me is that I always wake up super horny or in a pup mode and/or space.
I have a tendency to want attention of some description. Where unlike me, that has a bout of energy, Sir much prefers a more relaxed wake up, and prefers to start the morning without stress to a nice coffee, sit down on the balcony and check his phone for various messages, and probably the only time he really interacts with Facebook. This is his ritual, and I’ve been added to this time line of events. As indicated above this is why it’s now become part of my morning ritual when I stay at Sir’s. Therefore, it is important that anyones day should have a good start, that is relaxed, without throwing out rituals. When you start your day off in a positive good way, it assists with dealing with what the world may have install for you for the rest of the day. Even if the day before was not that good.
Rituals are important, and a boy enjoys the service to his Sir, this helps with rewards, and allowing the mindset of a submissive to flourish and a stronger bond and connection is built. One of the main reasons as to why it is important to ensure Sir has a coffee in the morning is to ensure rituals are not thrown out and that a good start to the day is important to build the foundations for the rest of the day’s events.
Respect is another aspect of the modern D/s while it has always been entrenched in the traditional D/s relationships, now more than ever, both the submissive and Dominant must have a level of respect and more discussions occur these days then in traditional D/s relationships. However, at the core of every D/s is respect, care and trust. As a submissive, it is important to ensure that I respect the rituals laid out for me by my Sir, and having the privilege to make morning coffee, is honoured, showing that I respect the role of my Dominant in the D/s. Waking Sir up and wanting to play and get attention, is breaking the ritual, even though puppy may not see it this way, the boy understands such importance to ritual, that it would be seen as disrespectful be wanting attention before Sir has a chance to wake up and at least have his first coffee.
This sometimes can be difficult as I am also horny and generally erect and wanting sexual attention, and this is where lays the art of submission. I know that I will get the attention, and probably something a lot more. Therefore, it is important that morning rituals are followed and that Sir has a coffee or two and allowed to wake up first. So, the rewards are far greater than the consequence of being seen as being painful. It in my experience also allows Sir to plan what he will do with me rather than a hap hazard attempt to just satisfy me without really satisfying both parties. For a D/s to work well, both parties must feel that both their desires and needs are being meant from the interactions of both the submissive and Dominant.
Finally, the third reason not to wake Sir without a coffee in the morning, is simply this not only makes him grumpy, it’s also a way to show him that I respect and honour him as my Sir. It also demonstrates I have an understanding of the internal workings of our D/s relationship. While some may not see it as a big thing, to a BDSM relationship it is, it’s a meaningful way that I actively demonstrate that I understand the importance of being his submissive and that I value our D/s.
To demonstrate the importance and the value of our interactions and limited time, by assisting in his rituals and helping for a good start to his day, and mine is focusing on the healthy side of the relationship. Any good relationship is a two-way street. Healthy relations are positive for good health and are needed in building trust in a D/s Dynamic. Trust is key and with that comes good health; physically, mentally and emotionally. Both parties take responsibility of this. My actions; by ensuring Sir has a coffee is one way that I can demonstrate this, it shows my respect, love, compassion, and above all that I care about our dynamic, and understand the importance that a simple thing as providing coffee for him can be a symbol of my wiliness to submit.
Inconclusion the importance of Sir having a coffee, is not the act if making it and presenting it, nor is it about starting off the day in a good way, yes that is essentially important. The reason I should not wake Sir and want attention is to ensure we have a healthy D/s relationship that we trust each other to do the right thing. It’s a way I can physically show him that I understand this importance. It’s about giving back, and not receiving all the time. Dominant and submissive relationships (D/s) to work, they need these basic foundations or they will fall apart. When he is taking me to my limits, I know I can trust him, and if a simple thing as wanting to follow a ritual helps demonstrate my willingness to submit and be a good boy, then it is important to me to ensure
I can show this, just as it is when he shows me aftercare after a session, or he gives me
a warm hug when he see me or when I am down. It’s not about the coffee, it’s about the actions that show that I want to be his boy.
Pup boy Skout